Working for the weekend

A few years ago I created a account on Monster just to see what was available out there.  I don't have very many qualifications besides drive a truck and a forklift, but I was looking for any kind of warehouse job or similar.  Well.... this morning I checked my email and I got a message from Brooke from Monster Worldwide about a Infrastructure Service Manager position....

Here's some of the job description

As a member of the region/function Management team contribute towards the strategic direction and management of the organisationChair a cross-functional service meeting that addresses all of the issues that either already, or could, impact the quality of service.This is primarily about root cause analysis.

 Problem management of allocated problems, identifying their root cause.Pro active analysis of non operational service issues and recommendations to proactively correct future occurrencesManage and coordinate delivery of agreed development SIPs through the operations service managersDefinition and tracking of service quality metricsResponsible for the end-to-end local change management process and effective operation within the global change processCompilation of internal SLAsReporting service performance against service targetsChampion continuous improvements across all local teamsAccountable for process alignment with the ITIL framework and ISO standards

I don't understand how they thought that this job would fit me me, half of this shit confuses me and the other half sounds boring as fuck.  I do have a theory though, they don't actually match you to jobs, just send out this generic email to everyone on their list.

Here's  a few examples of what they offer me

Sports Merchandising Company - Sr. SEM Specialist

Jobs in Sports - MO-Saint Louis - Posted: 4/23/2013

Part Time - Spanish Bilingual Outside Sales Representative

Nielsen - MO-Saint Louis-63101 - Posted: 4/23/2013 Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) Villages of St. Peters - MO-Saint Peters-63376 -Posted: 4/23/2013

ST. LOUIS SALES REP - DIGITAL SPORTS ADVERTISING

Company Confidential - MO-St. Louis - Posted: 4/21/2013

Restoration/Mitigation Project Manager Expert Response Restoration - MO-Valley Park-63088 -Posted: 4/21/2013

They have these listed as Skilled trade/Labor jobs.  No where in my resume/profile does it say I'm bilingual or a nurse.

No thanks Monster

Scumbag Alarm Clock

I over slept this morning.  I woke up at my normal time and grabbed my phone to look at the radar.  They were calling for rain today, saw some moving in and figured I should probably text my boss to see if we were doing anything today....

Next thing I know it's 7:30 a.m and my phone is buzzing, my boss asking if I was on my way up.  I replied, "No, I over slept do you need me too?"  He responded with "No, it's starting to rain up here".  I lay there for a bit wondering why he bothered to text me if it was raining.

Nothing else to add to that, just spewing random shit before I go to bed.

Double Trouble

Got a new paddle holster for magazines, not the reading kind.  Double mag holster for single stack .45 mags, or 1911 magazines.

I case anyone reads this or cares about what I'm talking about, this is for carrying two extra mags with me, plus the one in my 1911.  Carry as in CCW, as in "Conceal Carry Weapon"..... I carry a gun with me 90% of the time.  Why you may ask?  Because I fucking can.

Springfield Armory Mil-spec 1911 with Houge grips.....

....'Murica

Quote of the day

Some things should never be searched for or found.  It just opens the wound a little more, allowing just a drop more of you sanity to slip through.

                                                                                     -Josh Sanderson

                                                       

Its that time of year....again

Every four years we go through this, I would compare it to a comet crossing our path but I see it more like the chance to watch retarded monkeys fashion crude weapons out of their own shit and dead babies.

I know that sounds cool too but go along with it.

Something I really dread is peoples opinions about who they are voting for, like its going to make a huge fucking change in how I see things.  Your not going to change my mind with your brilliant debating skills and knowledge of the person you going to vote for, I could care less.  Even if you try your hardest.

Do you really want to know who my best pick is?  Will it change to mind?  Will my incite change your life forever, possible cause you to cry blood and possibly convince you that you need to go home and stick all 100 cats you own in a blender and make a cat slurry to feed to your elderly neighbor?  Hopefully.

My pick is.....



No one.... Yup, as much as you want to believe, your vote don't count for shit.  A good example is the Gore/Bush election.  Gore won the popular vote but Bush won the electoral college.  How the fuck does that work?

So have fun this election day, I'm sending in for a absentee ballot, pining up on the shooting block and making my selection with my .22.  Whoever wins...we are all fucked.

Nobama!!!!

Not Romney!!!!

Something I think about alot

"Charlie!!"
"What?"
"I see some bread over there"
"Really?  Man I'm fucking starving"
"I'm going to check it out"

Joe approaches the bread, cautiously but driving by hunger.
"This is way better than foam" he things to himself.  A few minutes pass when Charlie starts to worry.  Charlie calls out
"Joe....Joe where you at man"
No answer.  Charlie heads out in the direction he saw Joe head a few minutes earlier.  He sees Joe, he seems to be sticking his head into a box.

"God dammit Joe if your eating all that shit without sharing I gonna kick....."  He pears into the box to find Joe's face firmly planted to the bottom.  Cold chills shoot down his spine.  The lifeless body of his friend lays still.

"It's a trap!!"  Charlie runs the route they have taken so many times before.  I notices something different ahead of him, but fearing for his life, blindly runs ahead.  He only sees the hole to the outside world.


Squish....

Charlie's run  quickly comes to a dead stop, as if an invisible force pulls his stomach to the ground.  His struggling only ensnares him more.  Fatigue quickly takes over has he realizes that it is the same box that has taken his friend.  "Enough" he thinks, he lays still hoping for help.


Charlie's slumber is interrupted by a bright light, he begins to struggle once again but soon realizes he is no more closer to free himself.  Darkness envelopes him has he is lifted.  He closes his eyes tightly in hopes that he will wake from this nightmare.

A flash of light.....


"The woods?"  he asks himself.  He sees the sun, the warm glow warming him.  He tries once again to free himself but he's still trapped.  He hears a sound and sees a man looking down on him.  He remains still until the man turns and walks away.  Think this is his chance for freedom he begins the struggle again.  During his struggle he notice the man sits down, seems like miles from him.  He struggles more, one foot free!!  "I'm almost there..."

Another foot comes free.  Charlie can feel his body lifting, almost free of his prison.  A flash of light catches his attention, almost like a mirror.  He's starting to feel fatigued again, but the dream of freedom drives him.  Another foot breaks free.  "Almost there!"  he screams, on the verge of tears.  The flash of light again.  He freezes.  He realizes what is going on and the fight for freedom drains from his body.

"There's not enough time"

He lays still and silent, thoughts of Joe run through his mind, wondering what went through his mind in his final moments.  The sorrow overwhelms him.

"Joe... I'm sor....

Bang

I'm lazy

That's why there ain't shit here....

That is all.