Working for the weekend

A few years ago I created a account on Monster just to see what was available out there.  I don't have very many qualifications besides drive a truck and a forklift, but I was looking for any kind of warehouse job or similar.  Well.... this morning I checked my email and I got a message from Brooke from Monster Worldwide about a Infrastructure Service Manager position....

Here's some of the job description

As a member of the region/function Management team contribute towards the strategic direction and management of the organisationChair a cross-functional service meeting that addresses all of the issues that either already, or could, impact the quality of service.This is primarily about root cause analysis.

 Problem management of allocated problems, identifying their root cause.Pro active analysis of non operational service issues and recommendations to proactively correct future occurrencesManage and coordinate delivery of agreed development SIPs through the operations service managersDefinition and tracking of service quality metricsResponsible for the end-to-end local change management process and effective operation within the global change processCompilation of internal SLAsReporting service performance against service targetsChampion continuous improvements across all local teamsAccountable for process alignment with the ITIL framework and ISO standards

I don't understand how they thought that this job would fit me me, half of this shit confuses me and the other half sounds boring as fuck.  I do have a theory though, they don't actually match you to jobs, just send out this generic email to everyone on their list.

Here's  a few examples of what they offer me

Sports Merchandising Company - Sr. SEM Specialist

Jobs in Sports - MO-Saint Louis - Posted: 4/23/2013

Part Time - Spanish Bilingual Outside Sales Representative

Nielsen - MO-Saint Louis-63101 - Posted: 4/23/2013 Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) Villages of St. Peters - MO-Saint Peters-63376 -Posted: 4/23/2013

ST. LOUIS SALES REP - DIGITAL SPORTS ADVERTISING

Company Confidential - MO-St. Louis - Posted: 4/21/2013

Restoration/Mitigation Project Manager Expert Response Restoration - MO-Valley Park-63088 -Posted: 4/21/2013

They have these listed as Skilled trade/Labor jobs.  No where in my resume/profile does it say I'm bilingual or a nurse.

No thanks Monster